Joseph Bio Vote

Dear Readers,

Sorry about the long absence, but what little I had to say just didn't seem worth waisting your time. I know that I didn't seem to have that regard for your time with all my other posts, but I have repented, sort of,.......well, not really, but it sounds good, eh? Actually, I've been very busy and just haven't had the time to post anything, plus, my creative juices have dried up and left me sitting here totally uncreative and without thought. But, fear not, for I have found new juice! And, I need your advice, or at least your input.

As some of you may know, Katie, Jake and I are doing "Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" this summer, which is one of the reasons for my dried up juices due to the three nights a week rehearsal schedule. Because I'm one of the brothers in the cast, I have to write a Bio for the program. These bio's are written by the performer as if someone else wrote them, extolling all their past successes and musical accomplishments, as well as claiming extraordinary talents. In the past, when I've had to write one, I've taken a different tack and have attempted to write something funny. This year is not different. However, I've written two and can't decide which one is the one I want in the program. And that is where you come in. I'd like to have you let me know which one you like. I have to turn it in next week, so let me know as soon as you can. Thanks for the help. You'll notice that the second paragraph is the same in both. That is because of the dried up juices thing and that is all I could think of. The two follow:

Bio 1
Dee’s first exposure to music came just after his sixth birthday when he was abducted by a roaming band of Romanian gypsies who had illegally crossed the German border and were traveling throughout the country shaving women’s armpits. After learning the shaving business, Dee was then apprenticed to the band’s one-armed musette player where he learned to play that unusual instrument as well as the gilfin rotary finger cymbals. Currently, Dee limits his music to playing the piano and singing in the shower. But, getting the piano in and out of the shower has become increasingly more difficult, so he has limited his shower singing to a Karaoke with a long cord. This years production will mark Dee’s fifth Sounds Choir Production.

Dee is easily recognizable on stage as he is the only one carrying a bucket. The bucket is the only way he can come close to carrying a tune and he has been required to use the bucket for the four productions he has performed in. Having no talent has not deterred this, want to be actor, even though all those who know him have begged him to stop punishing audiences and to pursue some of his other passions like extreme worm farming, or full contact knitting, or jumping off tall buildings holding a towel over his head yelling "I can fly, I can fly". What Dee lacks in talent for singing, he more than makes up for in obnoxious behavior and an absolute uncanny ability to make easy dance steps unrecognizable. After several death threats from music lovers, Dee has decided this years production will be his last. Dee shares the stage with his daughter, Katie and son, Jake.

Bio 2
Dee’s background in music is varied and unspectacular. He sang the title role in Joe Green’s classic operetta, "La Bonnhedda" with the wonderful featured song "If I’d Shot You When I Wanted To, I’d Be Out By Now". After that, less than thrilling performance, Dee went on to play Dave in "The Last Train To Clarksville", the short running musical based on the music of the Monkees. It was a way off-Broadway production which opened in Minot, North Dakota, and ended there. Following that debacle, Dee left music and became the Montana Full Contact Knitting champion, scoring an amazing 300 on his final round. With little left to accomplish in his professional singing career, he moved to Idaho and started a small business selling competitive knitting supplies.


Dee is easily recognizable on stage as he is the only one carrying a bucket. The bucket is the only way he can come close to carrying a tune and he has been required to use the bucket for the four Sound Choir productions he has performed in. Having no talent has not deterred this, want to be actor, even though all those who know him have begged him to stop punishing audiences and to pursue some of his other passions like extreme worm farming, or jumping off tall buildings holding a towel over his head yelling "I can fly, I can fly". What Dee lacks in talent for singing, he more than makes up for in obnoxious behavior and an absolute uncanny ability to make easy dance steps unrecognizable. After several death threats from music lovers, Dee has decided this years production will be his last. Dee shares the stage with his daughter, Katie and son, Jake.

Well, there they are. Let me know which one you like. And for those who don't like either, .......well.......that's ok too, I guess. But don't say anything, that way I'll think you just couldn't decide.